Personal Files: Taking Back Your Life.

 

Hi y’all!

Is it just me or do you feel like most bloggers are from the South? Any who… this is a subject I’ve been trying to put into words for awhile.

The past year, as I’m sure you can tell by my previous “getting married is miserable” post, has been very hard. 2017 was tough for me. Feelings of constantly falling short and being inadequate were overwhelming and made me feel, helpless. But guess what MF? It’s MARCH 2018!

I am FINALLY getting my life back. I am taking back my power. As I am reflecting on last year, and even the one before it, there were very heavy times of misery that I couldn’t seem to shake. I want to know why and how to make sure that never happens again. Recently I’ve landed on the conclusion that those terrible times, I blamed the world for my problems. I was incapable of being happy because “work is hard”, “wedding planning is terrible”, “I’m too tired”, etc. wrong! For whatever reason, my paradigm had shifted to only see the negative, sad, dark parts of my days instead of celebrating the little and big victories I was constantly winning.

Being happy is not hard. I’ve always known this but for some reason, when you’re constantly getting down on yourself and always reacting to situations, it seems effing impossible.

Everyday, I have been waking up with the mantra of “what would today be like if I gave myself consent to be 100% who I am instead of who the world wants me to be?”. This question alone, makes me feel happier, freer, and so much less stressed. I am remembering I CHOSE this life. Deliberately. Carefully. And intentionally.

From this day forward, I choose to live each day of my life with intention. I will lead with my heart and mindfully choose the values that give my life meaning.

If you are ever in a tough spot, know that it will pass. Even if there is some asshole smiling next to you acting like their life is perfect, it’s not, they just chose to wear a different face. Just like you have the choice to think different thoughts.

Thanks for reading!

xo

Andi

I tried Botox. ⭐️

Yo, yo, yo!

Okay, before you get all judgmental just know that’s totally fine and I’m kind of judging me too.

Today, I am out in Denver visiting my mother. We were bored and for some reason I blurted out “let’s get BOTOX!”. We stop, starred at each other, and both decided this is either the best or worst mother daughter activity that exists. Either way, she was game.

We logged onto Groupon, found a place that looked cheap and legit enough that we weren’t scared of contracting something but also wouldn’t break the bank… thus we made an appointment!

The sun rose this morning and away we went. Both agreeing this was the closest we’ll get to living forever, we were psyched. We entered the beautiful MedSpa and started on our paperwork. Thorough and concisely written, I felt like I was seeing a new gynecologist or about to make another type of life long friend.

Maria greeted us with a smile, held up a mirror and asked, “okay, what don’t you like?”. I nervously laughed a little and said “this line right in between my eyebrows! It looks like I’m constipated and confused all day!”. Then she, nervously laughed.

20 injections right in between the eyes and the forehead, with super minimal pain. She was compassionate, non-judgmental, and explained how this has also been proven to help with migraines.

Migraines being the second reason I tried this; I’m excited to say I can already see a small difference in the wrinkle between my eyes. I know it sounds silly and superficial (and YES, I understand that I am putting a neurotoxin intentionally into my blood stream) but I like that the wrinkles on my forehead have smoothed. I like my face but I’m not always the kindest to my skin. Is it too much to ask to live until I’m 400, with porcelain skin, and legs for days (will someone please invent that surgery!?).

 

I digress. I tried Botox, and even though I’m slightly embarrassed, I’m proud of myself for trying something SUPER out of my comfort zone. It’s going to take at least 5 days to truly kick-in so stay tuned to my stories on Insta!

xoxo,

Andi

Personal Files: Getting married is miserable.

Ahoy there!

Catchy title, right? I know it seems like I’m being overly negative and dramatic but that’s because I am. However, I do it to prove a point.

On August 6th, 2016, the absolute love of my life proposed. This is after approximately one year of family, friends, and even myself, putting what, in hindsight, was probably an unfair amount of pressure on him to suddenly save every penny he made and make one of the biggest decisions of his life and plan the PERFECT way to ask me. So after he proposed, I got everything I wanted in life and I was immediately happy and everything else was super easy but also exciting!

Things that are false.

Sure! It was so exciting for the first week. Even two weeks. But week three… here came the questions. “Where are you getting married? How many bridesmaids? What kind of dress? What are your colors? Oh my gaawwwwwwddddd my cousin Jennifer had those colors and it was amaaaazing but also too dark and you may want to rethink the timeline you haven’t made yet.” JESUS. CHRIST.

I envy literally every person in this world that loved planning their wedding. For me, it was actually a personal hell.

HEAR ME: I LOVE and ADORE my husband more than anything else on this planet. He is my best friend and partner for life. Which is why I hated and resented the fact that so many people had so many different opinions about a day that had nothing to do with them. And, the PRESSURE, society puts on you! To drain your bank account as quickly as possible just for the soul purpose of checking off “throw a dream wedding” on your imaginary to-do list. You’re not living the dream. You’re broke, losing your hair, and have forgotten about a lot of things that matter to you because you can’t stop obsessing about throwing the perfect party for everyone else.

Having said all of this, my wedding was the most wonderful day of my entire life. The further I get away from it… the planning, the sweat, the tears, and kidney infections that I received from not taking care of myself… Were well worth it and I would do it all again if it meant I could shove all of those amazing humans in one room.

I’m not saying just go to civil court and skip the big stuff because I feel like that’s not the solution. If you want a big wedding, then go big, but be ready to face a lot of demons and some of those demons may be dressed up like Aunt Linda who wants to bring her own cake to the wedding. If you want it to be small and intimate, go all out. My day was chaotic, in some ways my biggest nightmare (I am not awesome at being the center of attention). Majority of the day did not go as planned because of elements out of our control and I think we caught all of the hitches that could have ever been hitched. But, it was beautiful, it was real, and it was exactly the amount of untraditional we both wanted. We signed our license and in front of our beloved witnesses, we became man and wife followed by the most insane party that either no one will forget or remember. Really could have gone either way there.

Before I was married one of my best friends told me, in one of my many breakdowns and times of despair, “your wedding day will not be the best day of your life…”, I looked up and slowly began creating a noose out of my own hair; she then added, “there will be so many better ones in your time being married.”. It was then I realized it would only be 24 hours and on what other day would we both look so damn good, young, and be so madly in love with each other we need to declare it in front of hundreds of people? Never! Our wedding day was perfectly flawed.

Every tear, penny, and AZO tablet was well worth it but thank God I never have to do it again. If you are single, please know the grass is not greener on the other side. If you’re planning a wedding and feeling shitty because you have a smaller budget than you thought and have to make sacrifices like not getting those huge peonies that you wanted– no one gives a FAHK about the peonies, but you. And you heard it here first– ditch the fahking peonies. NOW. Use paper flowers, or all greens, the grooms men DO NOT NEED boutineers and the only thing that matters are your out of this world electric love for each other– everything else will fall into place, I PROMISE.

If you are married, and hate my truth about wedding planning because you loved planning yours, please tell me what you did immediately, and I’m sorry we haven’t been better friends up to this point but it’s possible I need you to coach me through all things in life. I had unwavering support from friends, family, and my wonderful wedding planner, but I still could not escape the fact that all eyes were on us and I constantly was feeling like a failure. Even though I wasn’t, and our day was amazing… the insurmountable pressure to have the most perfect day was paralyzing to me and I write this only for the people out there that can relate. Please know, you are not alone.

I will cherish my memories, even the painful ones, because nothing can take away the fact that I still do believe it was the best day of my life and it means I can legally wake up to his fine a** every day until we both die.

Thank you reading and allowing me to be honest.

Xoxo

Andi

Oil Training {?} ⭐️

HI!

Here we meet again. I wanted to share a bit about something called Oil Training. I have super thick, fine, slippery but greasy hair. It is normally so staticky in the winter and a pain because I needed to wash it everyday to prevent oil build up. I received this substitute hair rinse in my FabFitFun box this summer.

As you can see it, it contains Aloe, Argan Oil, Lavender, and Apple Cider Vinegar. It is a product that balances out your hairs pH and you can either use it daily or weekly instead of washing, conditioning, and stripping your hair repeatedly of protein. I began using it when I was super blonde during wedding planning to prevent breakage and extend my color.

Guess what?

IT WORKS. I award this poo substitute, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I now only wash my hair with shampoo and conditioner, ONCE. A. WEEK. people!

This little bottle, is a miracle worker and I understand this whole fad of making your own shampoo or, dare I say it, live that #nopoo life.

Instructions:

1. Wet your hair like you usually do in the shower.

2. Instead of shampoo, shake your Apple Cider Vinegar substitute and apply a generous amount to your scalp all of the way to your ends.

3. Lather it into all of your hair -warning: it will not create suds!

4. Leave in for 5-10 minutes.

5. Rinse out and live your life!

You will be shocked at your soft and nice your hair is for is for multiple days

Pro tip: if you dry your hair every time you wash it, this time, dry it only with cold or medium air versus hot. It will take a bit longer but it makes my blow out last for at least 2-3 days!

Here is the link to buy your poo substitute: http://www.ulta.com/apple-cider-vinegar-hair-rinse?productId=xlsImpprod14111298&sku=2303347&cmpid=PS_Non!google!Product_Listing_Ads&cagpspn=pla&CATCI=aud-370516521359:pla-365354298172&CAAGID=47290518140&CAWELAID=330000200000535911&CATARGETID=330000200001245909&cadevice=m&gclid=Cj0KCQiAv_HSBRCkARIsAGaSsrCUvVnYCIx4iCgTX9KIh8Yag5oHU6eBGKQEZ_Rn9KT6InPwfgZYcUsaAsdWEALw_wcB

Curology // Adult Acne Cure? ⭐️

 

Hi sexy!

HAHA I mean HEY! Too soon for sexy, right? Anywho.

The pictures above are from December 5th, 2017. Exactly one month ago (yesterday!).I struggle with cystic acne and the first set of pictures, I am here to tell you my face literally hurt. All the time. It was inflamed and I was so self-conscious going anywhere without any type of make up on. What you are about to see, are pictures from precisely 30 days afterwards, and how my skin has improved.

 

For someone with porcelain skin, maybe it’s not perfect, but for me, it’s a drastic improvement. Curology is a 5 ⭐️ product all of the way through. It’s a subscription that appoints you a personal PA that is a specialist in Dermatology. If you are anything like me and hate leaving the house (not all of the time but just a lot of the time, because I’m a lazy American, OKAY) then going to the Dermatologist in your free time sounds like something close to a nightmare. This service is wonderful for a couple of different reasons:

  1. You don’t need to leave the house to buy it.
  2. Your first month is $5.00.
  3. Your subsequent months are $25.00 for the unique solution that they’ll change depending on how your skin is responding.
  4. YOU GET A FREE  AIR HEAD WITH YOUR BOTTLE. EVERY MONTH. I’M NOT JOKING. IT’S AMAZING.
  5. Your PA is available 100% of the time for you to talk with, send pictures to, and adjust your treatment with.
  6. The community is amazing. Check out Curology’s website to be flooded with support and people just like you, who are struggling, and winning their battle with acne.

I love this product so much. My PA has told me that it takes a little longer than a month to work but my FACE DOESN’T HURT. And that my friends, is priceless.

Xoxo,

Andi

The Bubble Clay Mask You’ll Never Forget. ⭐️

Good morning!

A couple of weeks ago I was recommended to try the Elizavecca Bubble Clay Mask by a friend. Intrigued by the YouTube videos that already exist around this product I decided to give it a go.

This baby is: moisturizing, calming for inflamed skin, bubbles like crazy in the best way you never knew you’d enjoy, and only takes 2-5 minutes to use! I was instantly hooked the second I used the little tool provided to put it on my face. It’s made and used in mainly Korea, but is making its way quickly into the states. I ordered it through Amazon and it came within 2 days (love you, Prime). It was roughly $12.00 and so worth it.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for you Elizavecca! If you are suffering from dry and rough skin from these cold winter days, this Mask is the drink of water you’re face is craving.

Here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00MWI2IS0/ref=mp_s_a_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1514904317&sr=8-3&keywords=elizavecca+bubble+clay+mask&dpPl=1&dpID=513Q2rufo5L&ref=plSrch

Xo,

Andi

The Shower Cap Reinvented. ⭐️

Boo!

It’s a ghost! JK. It’s me. How are you? Anyway, I got a new request to try a brand new type of shower cap and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t crazy excited. Their mission is so beautiful and recently I’ve been purging harmful plastic products I keep around the house. Waterbottles, my beloved Teami mugs, anything that may contain BPH or other crazy fake estrogen things. It never occurred to me that my shower cap is also, one of those things.

I will be using it for the next month and can’t wait to tell you about all of the ways it’s benefitted me! I’ve also been oil training my hair to make it less greasy so this baby plays well into that role. I’ve been washing my hair only three days a week and I’ve got A LOT of hair so I promise to write more about oil training soon!

Stay tuned. Stay gritty. 🤗

Xo,

Andi

Personal Files: Stop The Bull{sh*t}ying.

Hi there,

I would like to take a moment to step away from products and into the real world; as today I realized something fairly profound. I’m sure a lot of you have watched the viral bullying video and if you haven’t, I suggest you do. It sheds light on a phenomena that you can relate to whether you were the coolest kid in class or the most picked on. I am here to talk about something I didn’t expect to follow me after high school… being bullied as an adult.

There is so much energy, time, and money, that is spent bringing awareness to anti-bully campaigns for boys and girls, grades K – 12, and even throughout college. However, what seems to be less talked about is what happens after you graduate and how to cope.

I was picked on, albeit nothing super severe, but enough to be self conscious about my pale skin, my stutter, and my nervous laugh. Though, when I was young I wasn’t able to decipher how mean some kids were truly being, what bothers me now, as a 28 year old, is that bullying is still very much alive. It’s alive in nursing, in finance, in college and education.

My personal experiences have been as a new nurse, giving report to the older nurses while they roll their eyes, question your judgement, push off an impossible assignment to you to 1. watch you drown 2. lighten their load. It’s horse shit, it makes you cry, and breaks you down.

Bullying is in your first day of graduate school when someone makes you feel stupid, leaves you out of the after class invite on purpose, it’s in your lunch room when you can hear someone whisper behind your back, it’s in your bosses undermining comments and it’s in your mom’s glance at your waist but she smiles and says “what?”. Bullying is crazy, okay. But, just like in grade school, it’s what the people who have no satisfaction in their own life do to make themselves feel better about their own misery.

The only person who can stop the cycle is you.

Being a punching bag is horrible. But you know what’s worse? Being the miserable person doing all of the punching, because really, who has energy for that? Lonely, sad, bullies who have their own scars that are too scared to show them so they give someone else scars to look at. They want you to look at those scars, how they’ve treated you, to feel horrible, isolated, unloved, desperate for acceptance, and bitter. They are angry because they don’t understand why you don’t see the world just like they do, through a dim and jaded lens. Again, the only person to stop the cycle is you. Don’t let your spirit fade and if you have that voice in your head giving yourself compassion and love, HOLD ON TO IT. You deserve it. That’s the voice that will set you free. And apart.

All I ask in reading this is to be kinder to yourself. Give yourself a chance to be who you are and somehow be okay with that person. The world needs more of that. A more unabashed version of you.

Fuck the haters.

Xoxo

Andi

Curology, A New Beginning ⭐️

Hi!

I am so happy to see you! Thanks for stopping by. Today I received my Curology 5 days after ordering and needless to say— I’m excited! I will be trying this for 30 days and of course will show my before and after pictures. Throw some comments my way if you have any advice about foods, habits, or tips in general that have cleared your acne up in the past and I’ll give them a whirl!

Thank you for joining me on this cystic filled journey! I’ll take all of the love I can get. ❤️👏🏼

XO

Andi